Introducing Heddy Lamarr

Great Girls is series in which we meet inspiring women from ever era, culture and walk of life. This month we're meeting...

Heddy Lamar; silver screen siren and technology pioneer. Oh darling, beauty, brains and balls!

Heddy - or to use her full name Hedwig (reason enough to love her no?) crammed so much into one life time of Hollywood excess that she makes Rihanna (and her ubiquitous nipples) look tame. From dinner with Hitler, galas with Mussolin, condemnation from the Pope, a spell of nymphomania and a stint in prison to an invention that changed the world and won a war Heddy has been there, done it and won it.

Born in Vienna in 1914 Heddy had her first taste of showbiz after a chance meeting with a director, who awed by her beauty - if not her acting talent - cast her in his film. Heddy loved it and at the age of 16 took herself to Berlin to make herself a star. Shortly afterwards she met and fell in love with her first husband (there would be six), a decision she came to regret very quickly.

Fritz Mandl was described by his young wife as "handsome, magnetic...and utterly ruthless". Neccesary qualities no doubt for a Jew selling arms to the nazis. Really! Besotted by this handsome and magnectic man, a love struck Heddy couldn't wait to start married life in the the 'Mandl Palace'. However she quickly found herself a prisoner there, forbidden from working and spied on by the enourmous staff Heddy was trapped playing the vivacious hostess to dinner guests like Hitler and Mussolini. This was no place for a jewish girl who couldn't act!

Late one night Heddy took her chance. A few crushed pills into a maid's tea provided the costume for her disguise and, with a bag full of jewels and bank notes Heddy pocketed Mandl's car keys and drove into the dark. She took herself to Paris, where once again a chance meeting would land her back on the screen. Well, almost. The MGM scout was less than impressed by her acting skills and told her so, but, never one to be put off, Heddy pawned her jewels and bought herself a one-way ticket to New York...aboard the very same ship as the scout! Hedwig Mandl boarded in France and Heddy Lamarr alighted in New York. Hedwig and Heddy knew that her looks alone could not carry her, after all...

One of her first roles was in Ecstasy, it would rock the movie industry, horrify polite society and scandalise the pope because Heddy was the very first woman to be depicted nude and simulate an orgasm on screen. Miley and her 'bitches' have nothing on Heddy! A glittering, though less than Oscar worthy, career followed and Heddy quickly earned herself a reputation as a diva, but in her own words..

Heddy's most lasting contribution came from a rather unlikely source. Her disasterous marriage to Mandl did serve a useful purpose - it introduced her brilliant brain to spread spectrum communications and frequeny hopping. Her invention involved transmitting messages and missile signals from a stream of constantly changing radio frequencies - this made it impossible for enemies to incept or block messages. And thus, Heddy Lamarr brought a happy ending to the Cuban Missile Crisis. Perhaps that's not cool enough? Well if youre reading this on a phone or tablet you have Heddy Lamarr to thank because WiFi and Bluetooth are built on the technology that Ms Lamarr designed on her living room with a silver matchbox and a tube of red lipstick.

Sadly, while "the first half of her life was a glittering dream, the second half was a tragic waste." Heddy tore through husbands, by the time she got to number six her motives were less than romantic claiming that "I was broke and hungry, I had to marry." Her career began to fade, and she relied on plastic surgery to preserve her looks and drugs to cope with her depression. She was twice arrested for shop lifting and by the sixties was living in a bedsit, estranged from all who loved her and unable to afford heating or food. She would freqeuntly acost strangers in the street to tell of her "glory days" as a "famous actress". Heddy passed away in 2007 after a roller coaster life that took her to the heights of both her careers and the deepest lows in her personal life. She once tragically declared that she had been blessed and cursed by her beauty, declaring "My face is the mask I can't take off."

Lets leave Heddy with a wry warning to our vanity...

 

 

 

 

 

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Pineapple and (sort of) teriyaki chicken!

I love a dish that saves on washing up! This is so delicious, so colourful and so quick you'll never bother with a chinese takeaway again. Just make sure your pineapple is in its own juice and not syrup.

Start by mixing your 'teriyaki' (actual teriyaki if you have it), whisk up two parts white wine to one part soy sauce, add a few dashes of Worcester sauce and a pinch of ground ginger. You'll need enough to just cover your meat. Next fry off the chicken and garlic, adding some bell pepper just before its done. When it's cooked, pour in your sauce and let it thicken. Finally toss in a can of pineapple chunks, add your scallions and pok choi and cook until they're warm and little bit seared.

 

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Hello October!

Hello October! This is one of my favourite months, it has so much character, so much spirit, so much fight it in! Even though summer must be exhausting October gives Autumn everything it's got and goes out blazing! This month I'm going to...

1. Change my scent. It's time to let the light, sweet florals of summer go, sorry! At this time of year I like something earthy and spicy to warm me up, at the moment I'm loving the Rituals range.

2. Clean out my handbags. God I hate the dusty debris of a well loved handbag. After a few days use my bag is a tangled mess of receipts, loose change, lipsticks, pens, paper clips and pooh bags that spill like entrails with every unzipping. Worse, I leave it there when I swap handbags! I've seen other womens bags and know I'm not the only one!

3. Plan my Halloween costume. This year I'm torn between being a leopard and a zombie. I've narrowed it down to these four, although I suspect I lack the neccesary artistic talents to pull off either!

4. Cultivate a cosy habit. Winter has its highlights you know, staying indoors means more time for reading, bathing, crafting and baking! Hallelujah! I'm awful at plodding along without noticing these things so this October I'm creating a habit that will last all winter - rather than collapsing into bed with a book and skimming a few blurry lines before coma I'm deliberately making time to read. This afternoon I built a fort and climbed in with The Woman In White...bliss!

5. Speaking of cosy habits...find a new tea. Herbal teas make me happy, but fruit teas when it's blowing a gale and raining enough to fill the moat you never wanted? Nah, not going to cut it! You need a chai, a ginger or (if you're feeling decadent) a chocolate and peppermint! I'm a huge Teavanna fan. They're pricy but a small tin lasts forever and will defo brighten up a dark morning!

5. Eat a pumpkin...as opposed to desecrating one! Ireland has no tradition of eating pumpkins, despite the best efforts of America's pies and Harry Potter's juices! But this is a true tragedy! Recipes to follow but honestly, there's so much more to pumpkins than scary faces and a drawer full of blunt knives on November 1st! They'll be in season until January.

6. Get down with the Ghosts and Ghouls. Last year we did the Zombie Run in The Jungle. It involved 5KM of forest, maze and graveyard and dozens of highly convincing zombies/psychos. It also involved me moving faster than I EVER have before and screaming at an inhuman level. JUST what Halloween was made for!

7. Update my skincare routine. Have you been using the same products with robot like compliance? Then stop! Cold winds and dA few months ago my skin was so poorly that people asked why I had a rash! A free consultation with Clinque and some new product turned it around!

8. Indulge my inner pyrotechnic. It's still *just about* warm enough to enjoy an evening spent in the garden...provided your prepared! Skip Bonfire Night, make a massive pot of something delicious and get your favourite people round your fire - just be sure to make it BYOB (Bring Your Own Blanket)!

10. Send a real life, hand written letter. Imagine the thrill of arriving home from work to find a friendly envelope sitting on your doormat, the tingle of mystery at this person who writes their 'g's with that funny little flourish, the giggle over the novelty stamp, the delicious anticipation of waiting for the kettle to boil so you can eat your biscuit and met this enchanting stranger. Youu can give someone those feelings!!! What a privelege! Quills out!

 

 

 

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Better than a chip shop

We had better than Chip Shop fish and chips tonight! Home battered fish and homemade tartar sauce with a side of sweet potato fries and a dollop of mushy edamame beans.

My fish batter was ground almonds and coconut oil, the sauce was Greek yoghurt with chopped capers, cocktail gherkins and parsley mixed through it (honestly no quantities just keep tasting!) and for the edamame beans we blanched them then smashed them with a tiny amount olive oil and seasoning. Delicious and I put down my cutlery feeling smug!

Once again the photography is less than awe inspiring but I usually take these pics before scoffing and I hate eating cold food! How do other bloggers manage these artistic shots? I swear they're eating old, cold, crusted meals!

 

 

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It's good to be 'bad'

People can be sooo judgemental about food and nutrition, especially when it comes to clean and lean/fresh eating. It drives me crazy! I do not believe that carbs are the seventh circle of your kitchen's own private hell, or that eating its agent of destruction 'pasta' will cause your digestive tract to close up.

That thud you just heard? Oh don't mind that it's just me falling off my high horse. That scrabbling and cursing you hear now? Why, that's me scratching and clawing my way back on to it! I ate pasta. It was delicious!

I tried to keep this dish as healthy as possible while still satisfying my craving for something creamy and hearty and baaaaad! Boil up as much pasta as you intend to eat...remeber no one is judging you. Chop up a few capers along with a small bunch of dill and mix them into a teeny (or a tremendous) amount of creme fraiche. Heat up a griddle pan and when it's nice and hot lay a salmon fillet skin side down to cook, this will only take a few minutes. Slice a handful of mangetout in half lengthways and do likewise with some French beans, chuck them both into the pasta water for the last 1/2 minutes cooking time. Drain this pan, flake in your salmon and mix it well with (you guessed it) green leaves, today I used watercress, rocket and beets. Finally add your caper creme fraiche and enjoy.

Not all bad, lots of good in there...and pasta! But the world kept turning and my bowel didn't develop polyps so all's well that ends well, and this ended well! Yum!

 

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Emergency Clean Cuisine

I have been terribly guilty of not listening to my own advice lately in that have been hideously underprepared for all my meals! It makes life soooo much harder! Too many times I've raced into the kitchen after work and immediately commenced eating everything within reach! Tonight was almost one of those nights but thankfully this gorgeous seafood cocktail rescued me!

Remove the prawns from the freezer and let them defrost. In a small own bowl mix a tablespoon of seafood dressing (or three parts creme fraiche to one part ketchup) with the zest and juice of half a lemon, to this add your cooked crab meat and let it sit. Slice up an avocado, a fennel bulb and a head of baby gem lettuce and toss it with leaves of your choosing (spinach and watercress for me). Now that your prawns are defrosted quickly grill them and while they're hot add them to your crab meat. Arrange everything on a plate (and if it's really an emergency) DEVOUR it!

So this might be less clean than I like thanks to jarred sauce, but sometimes, I have to cut myself some slack or I'll end up at the drive-thru again (true story) and I'm ok with that! This is delicious and a great balance of lean protein, healthy fats and green carbs so I'm willing to let the tablespoon of decadence slide!

 

 

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Something to make quinoa edible

It has taken me sooooo long to accept quinoa. Empires have risen and fallen in less time! Until recently I just found it such a noxious, smug, self satisfied grain. And yes before you ask I do have a tendency to personify my meals! Unfortunately because quinoa is an excellent source of plant protein and there's only so many lentils a girl can eat I knew it was time to branch out. But UGH! It looks like frog spaw and tastes (I imagine) just like to too!

Luckily, I have stumbled upon a remedy - parsley pesto. Add two good handfuls of parsley, half a garlic clove (you don't want to smell like your lunch all day), a handful of almonds and a squeeze of lemon to a fast running blender. When it's become a pulse slowly add olive oil (or coconut) until it reaches a consistency you find edible. I keep mine chunky because I like a bite, and honestly, it disguises the quinoa better! Both parsley and almonds have excellent anti-oxidant properties (parsley contains them and almonds activate them) which is an added bonus!

There is no image for this recipe because quite honestly, it looked like frogspawn had been mushed into grass then scraped on to my plate and I'm really not dedicated enough to this blogging business to spend hours making the images 'just so'. You'll just have to trust me that it was yummy! It's equally yummy with coriander or a mix of both herbs.

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Guacamole...in a fashion

No superfoods or fads just clean, quick meals!

Oh dear, not my finest photographic moment! I blame it on the fact that I was utterly starving and this smelt too good to deny for even a moment! This recipe has all the ingredients of a guacamole but reduces the need for washing up by eliminating the blender (boo dirty dishes!), I have no doubt this would taste as delicious with actual, grow up gucamole!

Start by removing the shells of the prawns and deveining...lol joke! Start by defrosting a portion of prawns (because life is short). While that's happening chop up a mango, an avocado, a small amount of parsley or if you prefer coriander and a quarter of a red onion. Over your prawns tip a squeeze of lime juice and a little/a lot of grated chilli. Heat up a griddle pan until it's nice and hot and sizzle off your prawns. When your prawns have turned pink mix everything together and finish it with another squeeze of lime. Minimal effort, maximum taste - just the way I like it.

 

 

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Irresistible!

Yum! I've been sick for a few days, and if I'm honest I've been relishing all the pampering! But enough is enough! I decided to get my body back in order with this Super Bowl. Chopped coconut, blueberries, watermelon, kiwi and satsuma segments. Delish! Watermelon and kiwi are A-MAZ-ING together, I'd happily eat them all day! I had this with celery and cottage cheese on crackers for the friendly bacteria and a kick of protein. It was detox central today, so I should be better in no time!

 

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Brilliant Brussels

Brussel sprouts are the highlight of every Christmas for me! Yes, they even trump presents (no pun intended). So I was naturally horrified when the Gentleman referred to them as "the devil's testicales." Whaaaaat?! How dare he insult these shrivelled globes of glory. I promptly set about changing his mind, this is the recipe that won him round.

Chop your sprouts in half, keeping any of the outer leaves that fall off. In a pan warm some coconut oil over a low heat, you'll need enough to well cover your sprouts. To the pan add 2tbs of grated ginger, 1 crushed garlic clove and 0.5tsp of ground coriander. Heat it nice and gently for about 5 minutes. Taste it and decide if its tangy enough, keep in mind that sprouts are strong little blighters so you might need more ginger and coriander (depending on how much you want to camouflage them!) Toss your sprouts into the pan and let them soak up the mixture. Transfer the whole lot to a baking tray and roast them on a high heat for 15-20 minutes, leave them alone except for a rattle halfway through. I like to sprinkle over the loose leaves 5 minutes before they're ready, they crisp up wonderfully!

Successfully disguised sprouts!

 

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Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit

If I'm being honest, being unemployed has been pretty hard. I went from having a stressful job, filled with challenges, deadlines and an endless list of tasks marked urgent, to having entire days yawning in front of me with absoloutely nothing to fill them with. At first I tried to adopt the attitude that "finding a job was my new job", unsurprisingly that endured for the first three days by which time I'd applied for every job I wanted and many, many more that I definietly did not want! Hours swelled and my sense of dejection and failure ballooned.

One day I woke up and was convinced that I'd never get a job. EVER. Because I was crap and everyone knew it. It was all rather illogical and utterly unacceptable. Thankfully, soon after this black morning I stumbled upon an old copy of Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson. Hallelujah! This book is marvellous; hilariously refreshing, thought provoking in its bizarreness and (it's most invigorating glory) related by a woman uncompromising in her loyalty to herself.

Just when I needed to I heard...

It was a timely kick up the arse. I promptly quit whining and set about finding a boat (not literally - I'm land locked). Nobody was going to give me a job, I had to earn a job! In addition it was high time I stopped applying for every job I heard about and rather fixed my sights on the abundant potential that exists in every. Single. Day. My success could be mine to claim. Thank you Jeanette, oranges, most definitely, are not the only fruit.

 

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5 reasons you should be eating...beetroot

Ah beetroot! Definitely one of the glories of our summer veg patch, mostly because they are CRAZY easy to grow! Yet sadly, for most people, the word beetroot conjures images of crinkle-cut slices of vinegar soaked, soggy islands, marooned in a seeping pink tide. My grandmother ruined many an afternoon tea by loading my plate with these putrid entities and rendering everything (my face, hands and tshirt included) scarlet. But no more! Beetroot has a really long season (meaning they're cheap and tasty for ages) and are at their best right now! Grate 'em, roast 'em, crisp 'em. Just don't bloody pickle 'em! Here's why...

1. They will fight cancer like mo'fo

These knobbly little roots are also filled with antioxidants all of which do a pretty good job of getting toxins the hell out of your lovely little body! Betacyanin, in which beetroot is especially high, is particularly important in this process. So important that it has been known to shrink tumour size, trials are underway in the US.

2. They're bloody good for you

Thanks to their nitrates they lower your blood pressure and yes, you should be concerned about your blood pressure, even you skinny young man! Although maybe you'd be more interesed in the other benefits associated with improving a man's circulation? Uh-huh, thought so, tuck in gents. Continuing the sex theme, it is packed with boron - something guys and gals both need in order to produce sex hormones.

3. They're dementia's nemesis

By helping to keep your blood flowing it keeps your brain fed with oxygen, which helps keep it in tip-top condition. Beetroot have been proven to stave off dementia in older people. Perfect snack before the pub quiz then!

4. They're woman's best friend

Beetroot is filled with folic acid which is essential during pregnancy. Oh you're not pregnant? Hush and eat your beetroot, you need to build up your store of FA in the years pre-pregnancy. Oh you don't plan on ever being pregnant? Hush and eat your beetroot, they are also packed with silica which your body needs to process calcium which in turn will make your bones strong and prevent osteoporosis. It's like a lovely circle of health really. Lastly they are a wonderful source of iron and are even used in the treatment of anaemia.

5. Their anti-inflammatory properties

These foods are deflators! Great for those who suffer from/are at risk of artheritis since it causes swelling (resulting in pain) around the joints. If you live here in Ireland you've probably been in this demographic since you were a fetus, thanks to our not-so-tropical climate, so go feast!

So maybe I lied and there are more than five reasons but the moral of the story remains the same EAT THE BEETROOT. In fact eat their leaves too because they've just been found to be about the most nutritious thing on the planet!

 

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Ginger chicken and broccoli

This is very similar to my Spicy Steak...for a reason! It's delicious, oh so nutritious and even quicker!

In a small bowl, mix 3tbs soy sauce, 2tbs each of sesame oil and white wine vinegar, 1 crushed garlic clove and 1/2tsp each of ground ginger and ground coriander. Pour it over your cubed chicken fillets and let it marinate for a few minutes.

When you can't wait any longer (I'm not the only one who cooks like this?) fry your chicken. Its nice to add 1tsp of marinated ginger now. After about 5 minutes add the broccoli florets, when they're bright green it's time for the shredded pok choi and chopped coriander. Scatter with sesame seeds just before you serve.

See, told you it was quick! I didn't even get to finish my rosé! Packed with lean protein thanks to chicken, carbs and fibre from the greens and the anitoxidants in the coriander this is the ultimate dish for banishing the last of the weekend bulge.

Despite the sentiments of the rest of the world I actually love a good Monday! Fill a week with them and I'd be the most productive, motivated and healthiest person on the planet! I try to start every week like I mean to go on (clean, lean and green), sadly these idealist intentions waver and weather over the course of the week so that by 7pm Sunday I'll be at the cheese counter with a basket full of wine and deli meats! But oh well! For now, for Monday (if not forever) I'm eating clean, training lean and feeling great! Happy Monday everyone!

 

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Using up the last of this season's tomatoes

1. Chop as many tomatoes as you like into quarters, toss them with sliced red onion, drained olives, thinly sliced fennel, fresh rocket leaves and a few sprigs of mint. (You'd be amazed how much you love the collision of liqorice scented fennel with tangy fresh mint.) Top with a small amount of balsamic vinegar and lemon juice. A Greek Salad, that is not a Greek salad and is twice as delicious! Added nutrition bonus from the rocket and fennel; two powerhouses for your body. House points also available for adding quinoa and avocado! Yay for protein and fat!!!

2. Make this Tomato Jam. Put it on EVERYTHING

3. Put your oven as low as it can go, cut your tomatoes in half and lay them on a baking tray. Season well with ground sea salt and roast for several hours until they look 'sun dried', these make divine snack vessels, eat them as crudites with guacamole, top them with mozerella and basil or (my fav) sprinkle a salmon fillet with chopped walnuts, lay the tomatoes ontop, drizzle with olive oil, then wrap and bake. YUM!

These recipes were born from neccesity. The Gentleman has a Grandfather who I often imagine drifted out of the Tyrone mist one morning, silver hair slicked back, suit jacket unbuttoned and a clucking chicken at his heels, solely to occupy the void that modernity is creating. He has the calm stillness and wealth of knowledge that only a rural upbringing and a lifetime of observation can bestow. Ask him about bee keeping, constellations, that day's racing (!) I guarantee he'll know! For as long as most remember he has coaxed deliciousness from the ground in his charmingly decrepit, cobweb strewn, dew glistening mini farm. There are rows and rows of potatoes, beans, carrots and onions, forests of berry stalks, coops of strutting cockrels and the sweetest smelling orchard this side of Armagh. Our own vegetable plot owes much to the Gentle Grandfather. That being said, ours does lack the sophistication of his polytunnel which (quite literally) bursts with tomato vines. Every summer the Gentle Grandfather gifts all who cross his path with sacks of these sweet fruits. (And yes they are fruits, though I didn't understand this until I tried his!) Some are big, some are small, some are split, some are spotted. All are delicious.

It has become something of a challenge in the Happy House to use these tomatoes while they are at their best. Yes we make soups and sauces for freezing over the winter, but I somehow feel it's an assault to cook these delicacies, especially the tiny adorable ones. So, we use them as raw as we can without dying of boredom!

 

 

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Hearty, healthy salad

This is a perfect salad for a quick packed lunch. The ingredients hold really well and taste better with time!

Start by rinsing a half can of puy lentils. Next chop up the tomatoes, some yellow pepper, a few baby corns (real name anyone?), a good chunk of cucumber, some feta cheese, half an avocado and a small amount of red onion. Toss this with your greens (your choice but something neutral like spinach or beets lets the other flavours out). You need a good bunch or parsley in here too; adds a surprising bite.

Now drizzle on the dressing, a basic one like equal parts olive oil and balsamic vinegar is perfect. Finish with a squeeze of lemon and maybe some salt.

I love the balance of protein, fats and vegetables in this recipe, it really fills you up for the afternoon! Enjoy!

 

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In which the girl issues a disclaimer

Riiiiiight, a bit of trolling which targetted my weight, diet and right to post means a disclaimer is in order. I'm not fat. I am skinny. I do not have an eating disorder. I have not been bullied into my size. What I do have is a desire to be strong and healthy for as long as I possibly can, and THAT is what has launched me on this eating clean journey. Not cheap mimicry of Miranda Kerr. Not pressure from patriarchal society. Not jealousy of others; health. Funnily enough, that doesn't seem to be an option since people are quick to assume that health promotion is an attempt at fat shaming. What?!

In spite of my natural shape, brought about by a natural diet, I have frequently been the object of unwanted attention regarding my size. When I was a waitress a customer asked which dessert I would recommend, before looking up and saying "Never mind, you look like you don't eat." If I was fat would it have been ok to say "Never mind you've probably eaten them"? When I worked in high fashion a client walked into the store and exclaimed "My God! You're tiny! What size are you?" If I was fat would it have been ok to say "My God! You're huge! What size are you?" When I was out with friends an acquaintance moaned "I feel so flabby, hanging out with this skinny bitch doesn't help." If I'd been fat would it have been ok to say "I feel so flabby, hanging out with this fat cow helps though." The answer to all these questions is no, that would not have been ok, yet because I was skinny these unsolicited judgements and insults were almost attempts at compliments. On each occasion I was upset and horribly offended, yet expected to say nothing because 'being skinny is great!" Skinny shaming exists, and most if the time we say it's ok!

The new wave of aggresive, vagina weilding feminist have some responsibility (thank you Caitlin Moran). It seems today that a 'real' feminist must adopt a sneering, cynical view of anything other than hairy legs and muffin tops. I'm intimidated by it and feel horribly unrepresented by it, which is odd as I do consider myself a feminist. A recent viral video depicted a beautiful women in her underwear, pointing to all the parts of her body that she loved and was proud of, it was great and I'm sure for her and her peers it felt empowering. Unfortunately, the woman based her (fragile) self love (loathing?) on the fact that she wasn't thin and ended with a call to all "my curvy, gorgeous, REAL women to give skinny bitches the finger." Lovely! I wonder how viral the video would have been if the sizes were reversed! Am I not allowed to be a real woman because genetically I have small hips and tiny boobs? Can't I be proud that I look after myself without having people of a different shape roll their eyes and call me a skinny bitch? Do I have to silently kowtow to PC norms which demand fat people's feelings get precedent?

My blog is not about me advocating dieting and not about encouraging thinspiration, which are dangerous trends. It's not about declaring an ideal shape. Its about food I like to eat. Be fat, be thin, whatever! But keep your opinions to yourself! When it comes to our bodies I am mine, and you are yours. End of!

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Quick spicy steak

Yummy! Spicy steak with enough greens to fill a garden! Not only that. It's delicious and ready in minutes.

Start by cutting your sirloin steaks into strips. Then leave them to marinate in toasted sesame oil, soy sauce (2:1), spring onions (4) and dried chilli flakes (1tsp), the longer the better obviously, but 15mins is plenty if you're rushing. In the meantime, chop your broccoli and top/tail your beans (mangetout/sugarsnap peas/runners) and blanch them. While that's going on rinse and chop your greens (spinach/pok choi/beet/kale).

You're on the last leg now. Fry up your steak, adding your broccolli and beans just before it's done and your greens a few seconds before you take it off the heat.

Yummy! As always the quantities are vague, so taste as you go and mix it up!

 

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In which the girl cooks

Nom nom nom

Hmm, maybe cooks is a bit of an over statment? Moslty it was chopping and mixing...all the better! Anywho, recipe for you...

Toast a good handful of cashew nuts. While they're toasting, grate one large carrot and two radishes. Now take the cashews off the heat. Chop up cherry tomatoes, a few spring onions, a red pepper and an avocado, open a can of chopped pineapple. Toss all these together and voila...salad.

Now on to the dressing. Mix together a good dollop of peanut butter and grated ginger (about 2tbs each), grate in a chilli, squeeze in a lime, add a little oil and red wine vinegar to loosen it up. Voila...dressing

Mix the whole lot together and let it flavour up (30 mins)!

As with all my recipes, the quantities are vague, so taste as you go and decide what you like. For added protein toss it with quinoa, lentils or beans. Or if your Gentleman, is like mine and doesn't consider dinner a meal unless their is flesh on his plate this is gorgeous with baked white fish, or griddled chicken that's been marinated in soy sauce and chilli.

 

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In which the girl comes to a shocking realisation

Phew! After the craziness of work, holidays and birthdays I was feeling a little...burnt out? If 'ugh' was a real word that encapsulated a real emotion then that was what I was feeling; all the time! Sleepy, spotty, squishy, soggy, and slow. It was like my body had been invaded by the dark alter egos of the seven dwarves!

It all came to a head when, mid way through preparing for a party, my dress split at the seams. "Dam careless dry cleaners!" I sighed and sneaked upstairs to change. Hmmm, problem! The zip on this fresh dress seems to be stuck? No time, guests are arriving! Next dress...how odd, the buttons are gapping on this one. Screw it, (what's happening?) try something else. Holy crap, the fasteners won't clip??! oh my GOD! In short, NOTHING FITTED ME! I ended up safety pinning myself into the 'best' fit and feeling like a whale all evening.

So time for a change was nigh! I've always been a big believer in eating real food. By which I mean food that looks like food, food that my great granny could recognise as ingredients, food that didn't come in a package. I'm looking at you vegetables, and you fresh cuts of meat. Yet somewhere in my unemployed anguish and vactioning revellry I had forgotten this, gorged on cheese, chorizo and wine and brought myself to the brink of gout.

And thus, my journey started with a realisation. Firstly that I couldn't afford to replace my entire wardrobe. Secondly that unless I changed my ways I'd end up like the rest of the population; overweight, out of breath, brushing diabetes and flirting with cancer. My first step towards clean eating and practical working out was painless, practical and calming. Bye bye sloth-like self, hello svelth and happy self!

 

 

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In which the girl bids adieu to short shorts.

The phrase "I think I'm too old for that" was not supposed to arrive in my lexicon until my 40s, at which time I would welcome him and his companions Lord Reading Glasses and Lady Gel Insoles with open arms in the safe and certain knowledge that I was an elegant woman of comfortable means.

When I started avoiding Topshop and River Island last year I eructed road blocks in the path of this phrase and convinced myself (somewhat legitimately) that it was the cheap fabrics and poor craftsman ship to which I was developing an aversion. Nothing to do with the neon prints, loud music and One Direction tshirts, no - nothing at all. Fact is, who wants to be too old for anything at 25? Besides, I wasn't elegant or confident yet.

However in March, twenty years earlier than expected I uttered that fateful phrase. Upon facing a pair of...shorts (?) of which the main component was GUSSET I calmly said it; "I think I'm too old for that." In the absence of photographic evidence to the contrary I want to deny turning down the corners of my mouth and shaking my head white I said it...but I can't be sure it didn't happen.

Even more shockingly than the unanticipated advent of maturity was the assurance that followed. Rarely do I consider myself a feminist, after all I will ask a gent to open a jar and happily accept his seat on a train, yet in this moment I surprised myself by winning a battle I didn't know I was fighting. I said no to the incessant prattle that told me my body, nay woman's body, was to be used for attention and acceptance. I said no to the niggling voice which said "you won't have good legs forever". I said no the photoshopped nymphs which smugly insisted they were better than me. I said no to the careful marketing which defiantly declared this was the right thing to wear. And I said no to the tyrant who would use my body as a piece of social branding, a tool to impose a set of ethics I wasn't sure I supported. I said no.

Being too old, I suddenly realised, had nothing to do with being old and everything to do with being confident. I don't need shorts which leave a wedge of bum exposed in order to feel acceptable. Actually, I don't want to feel acceptable! I no longer belong to the generation of fidgeting, glossed girls who toss their hair like horses avoiding flies and employ shrieks as their communication means of choice....and oh what a relief! I went home that night and unfollowed the gaggle of beauty/fashion magazines and bloggers clogging up my news feeds. With startling ease I was free from a judgemental, consumerist stream of Top Tips, Must Haves and Summer Essentials.

I don't need to be told what to do, I'm not six! I'm too old for that. From now on I'm keeping my gusset in my pants.

 

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How to be rich!

As someone who has spent the majority of their life in education I've amassed a wealth of knowledge. Sadly, I've earnt little and saved less (neither have I developed any practical, transferable skills, but that's another post!) All these misspent years mean that I know a thing or two about feeling rich when you're poor.

Hey you guys, did you know that the best things on life are free?!! What's that? This thought doesn't fill you with joy and anticipation? Funny enough, after a week filled with nothing but pasta shells and twice used tea bags (true story) I had very little good will left to consider how doth the flower grow. Rather I preferred to brood about how my purse full of lint was ruin my life or dwell on all the everything I would buy/do/eat/see/wear when I could afford it! Unsurprisingly, this created its own particular brand of misery. I shall now share some of the ways I found to balance extravagance and frugality.

Smart Sampling

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to splurge on fancy make up or cosmetics, not when there are so many glorious books and luscious fabrics begging to be bought! Yet that does mean I shall content myself with bargain beauty. Oh no! Cosmetic companies are always willing to tempt new customers by letting them try their products. Ask your local beauty counter for a sample of one or two potions and you'll be able to enjoy a few days of cosmetic wealth!

Take a trip to the spa

Clear your calendar, turn off your phone, light some candles, stick some pan pipes on YouTube, put a fresh towel on the radiator and fill the bath. Behold! You've made your own spa! Complete the experience with a cheap face mask, even better if it's an organic, locally sourced and ethically produced one (read: homemade).

Go on a date

When I'm strapped for cash I usually find myself becoming a hermit. The glamourous social events pixilated for my envy on Facebook all seem very expensive, and I'm not sure I have the emotional strenght to shirk this creeping despondency. So I stay in and make sure I spend nothing, hitting refresh on FB/Twitter/Instagram, stalking through ASOS on the trail of someone's outfit and generally feeling like a peasant. Bah humbug! Coiff your hair, paint your nails, do your make up, hold your head high, slip on a smile and sashay out to greet the world! If you're alone I advocate a coffee house and a book. If you are accompanied I HIGHLY recommend heading to a bodega or a bistro and sitting at the bar. A friend and I did this not too long ago. We ordered a cheese board to share and a glass of wine. A few moments banter with the bar tender resulted in a steady supply of mini cocktails for the next several hours! Highest ever return on a £10 spend!

Top tip: Arrive after lunch and leave before dinner, it's not fair to hog a table and cost your venue money.

Be a hostess

Casual nights in always result in the best fun. Stick on a big pot of something hearty, tasty and cheap, ask the guests to supply the sides and get some retro tunes playing. For an added zing to your Generation Y ego, snap some photos of artfully staged food.

Get out!

Feeling rich is really about feeling free. Finding freedom from the nagging voices that tell you you're not worth as much as other people will keep you sane and help you feel grateful for the fortune at your fingertips. I know you don't want to hear it - being rich is not about the things you own! It's not about things you can touch or anything that you can compare. It's about the laughter that echoes from your past and the light that shines from your future. When I need to remember this I carve out some quiet. Anywhere I can make it will do, but I especially like here...

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In Which the Girl is OK

Surrendering myself to the countryside caused many moments of panic, most notably over the lack of recreational opportunities that presented themselves to a city girl unfamiliar (and utterly unwilling to engage) with the 'The Great Outdoors'. The distinct absence of a cocktail shaker within a 10 (20? 30? 50???) was also a concern.

...yet lo! Time has ticked and suddenly I'm in the slow lane...and happy! I spent yesterday afternoon appreciating fresh air, the company of birds and a jug of infused water, or Ditch Juice as the Gentleman has dubbed it! Look at the sliver of Spring sky trapped in the bottom of my glass, I almost didn't miss the gin!

Cucumber, lemon and parsley. !Fresca!

 

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